PvE News; Remnants of Nova Krepusko downs Leviathus!

Good day, this is the Informer.

Remnants of the swedish guild, Nova Krepusko, hijacked a w3 raid by Band of the Gray Clover and killed Leviathus, the last boss in wing3 and the last boss of current raid content. After kill NK was showered with loot, gold, fame and allied anal-virgins. 

Congratulations to NK, though you seem to be dead you still succeed raiding. Nice work for server 2nd on raid progress*, and server first from the dead guilds.

SOURCE

*SCUM holds the place for server first Leviathus kill. All heil SCUM, and then suck my balls.

Aztels Aproach, what the hell..

Good day, this is the Informer.

Aztels Aproach was filled tonight with especially high numbers of ruthless... oh what the fuck am I saying; pretty crappy gankers. Seems that many ganking guilds, like "The Killers" and the "Yabbal what-what's", "Wolf-somethings" and the "Hippo Harem" (not sure what kindoff weird animal-loving happens in the last, and quite simply don't want to know) are growing up and soon enterin the old and familiar hell-hole known Kheshatta. 

Good luck to you, and hope to see your skill-level rise fast or none of you will last the ruthless heat of Kheshatta.

Also some more familiar names were seen; Cavalieri del Destino confirmed my doubts of leaving Empire as they fought in the shades of the mountains with Celestial. Too low-skill empires hitting their exploiting asses from skammastein to frozen mammoths, and having any leftovers killed by the ganging low-levels! Such a sweet sight for my weary eyes.

Kaizens army of steel has also been seen here and abouts, startling people with sudden rp. Though being an rp-server, it's quite hilarious to see Kaizen creating very ... interesting situations by "suddenly" rp'ing with people, and completely disarming them. 

"Lol wut noob, im OC so l2p noob".

Second part to path 1.05 has hit tl-server

Good day, this is the informer.

2nd patch to patch 1.05 patch, witch was made to patch the all patches patching patches since launch of AoC, has been released on to TL-server. Don't know about you guys and galls, but all this patching is making me dizzy.

I wish everyone to take a closer look, as the patch-of-all-patches will without a doubt define much the direction AoC is going; continue wobbling in the mists of maybe surviving or becoming a much improved game and attract a wide variety of players.

Informer wishes everyone to have a fun night of testing, and reporting flaws and starting feuds on testlive-forums!

Now fuck off and enjoy the springtime sunshine, have a barbeque and take a couple of beers.

SOURCE (scroll down to the last 2 messages to see the latest update notes)

A Free Character?

Good day, this is the Informer.

Game Overlord and Community Manager Göbbels... Silirrion, published a new community news-letter. For those uninformed souls out there; this letter pops-up every month to tell the community about AoC-development plans. They are like sneak peaks on what's coming and when. But mostly they are for assuring players that something is indeed being done to improve the game, and provide a reason for paying for a beta.

There was only little new in the letter, the usual blablabaa jadajadajaa can be summarised in the phrase "just keep playing and paying, pay pay pay, for you might see something new and exiting at some point!"

The biggest shock was the unveilment of the following: Everyones getting a new lvl50 char after the 1.05 update! WOOT!! I predict, that 3 days after the update when it's all cleared out who is the OP class of the month, everyone surprisingly has a lvl50 toon of that class. 

As an ending note; Why are the eu-forums getting dumber every day? Looking at the replies to Silirrion's post... by Gods, the stupidity levels are record high. Has Tsuniko made a new army of forums alts, or have the Huns started spamming? Who is masterminding this.. Informer will be looking into this!

Re: You have received an infraction at Age of Conan Europe Forums

Good day, this is the Informer.

Amorey has launched an allout attack on the general aoc-forums against peeing animations. Amorey thinks, that it is most horrid and unnatural thing to have a peeing emote, a total abomination and degenerated foullnes of Satan Himself. Peeing infront, or *shock* actually on someone is an unnatural thought for him.
Amorey, welcome to Europe. We pee constantly everywhere; when going to pub, when coming back, when going to lunch and even while fishing.

For Amorey, chopping heads of with blood and spatter, seeing titties and softcore-porn allaround is a-ok-ay! But the peepee.. it makes him cry, and report petitions to get it removed from game.

Amorey, you are possibly the sickest person I know. Really, truly.. a piece of art. Astonishing stupidity, hypocrisy and dumbass-attitude mixed perfectly together.

In any case, Amorey is now awarded the "Informer Award in Being the Bestest Knight in a Shiny Armor Without PeePee".
Congratulations to Amorey, Informer over and out.

SOURCE

Quote:
"Morals should not be left behind only because we are in a virtual world. Breaking wind when other people are present is more morally easy to accept then someone urinating on a corpse or a wounded player...or a GM for that matter....that was one of the reasons why this emotes was taken out...people were abusing the /petition system...calling for a GM assistance and then when GM was there urinating on them, taking pictures and posting all over that place...what kind of image would this publicity give to Age of Conan?"

Peeing, such bad publicity. So bad. Bad urin. Bad, bad, baaaad urin.

Labour Day is Incoming, Aquilonia fills with raids and sieges!

Good day, this is the Informer.

SCUM is attacking Argonauts (empire) keep this Friday. Argonauts have a good defensive history, and SCUM has been quite shitty in their few latest battles, so the outcome is blurred. It's anyone's ballgame, good luck to the participants.
I wish there would be a "audience" mode, where you could view the ongoing sieges as a spectator. I'd like to watch these two exploiting-monsters having their war, enjoy a bit of popcorn and maybe make a drinking-game:

1. Take a shot every time you see Galadh's head torn apart.
2. You can order one of your mates to drink when you see Robzor torn to pieces.
3. Every time Tsuniko dies everyone has to drink!
4. Every time Gengar climbs on a rock and starts nuking, everyone shouts "RUDE DATE-RAPE". The person who shouted last, has to take a shot.
5. When a ToS kill's everything around him/her, everyone has to jump up and shout OP-GODMODE, slap the ass closest to them, jump again and make a lightning sound *boom*. After that, everyone takes a shot of tequila.

Aquilonia itself seems more and more deserted, only minor chitchat an pve-raids taking place. The good flow of siege-battles seams to have paused for the celebrations of 1st of may. Informer is also taking a brake; but nevertheless I will keep an constant eye on Aquilonia, remember kids..

Informer never sleeps, Informer is always watching, always behind you, sneaking in to your naked-rp events stealing your xp.

Informers Views of PVP-LVL's and progress

Good day, this is the Informer.

FunCom, you have a shitty and exploitable player versus player progression in Age of Conan, the mmo. There's no way around it, the system is pure shit in it's finest form; megashit-of-most-exceptional-epicfail.

The flaws of the system:

1. Easily exploitable.

2. Very easy to gain high exp in low-levels, because the class balance is horrid.

3. Does not reward for pvp-acitivities such as minigames or sieges, counts only kills.

4. The fundamental system, where a person who is skilled in killing other players gets to have even more efficient tools of death, and even more survivability against other players is idiotic, because it shifts the balance of the game.

Now, on 1.05, FC has taken a step to make raid-gear viable for pvp, and this has raised a storm of cries on testlive. 

C'moon, you cant nerf our exploited gear we got in a week on ws-isle, NO DON'T TAKE IT NO I QUIT GAME NO NO NO! Those raiding pve-carebears who go and do nothing else then hangaround in some dungeons dont deserve to be equal or have an edge with their gear they have grinded for six months!! ITS UNFAIR, REVERT THIS CHANGE!!

Informer hopes that every person crying against this change shoots themselves. You are not needed as inhabitants of planet earth, you have failed. Now, please die and get out, and if you made any offspring take them with you.

SOURCE

Every little detail.. so many small things.

Good day, this is the Informer.

Aquilonia has had another busy day, not hugely but there's lots of little things happening. Kaizen has founded a new military guild, Order Of Steel. You old seahorse, wont you ever learn. Isn't this about the 18th guild you have put up since launch?

Sanguis Attexo has lost some players to SCUM (Cogne, someone else?), who keep growing and are now the biggest guild on Aquilonia by a clear margin. Sanguis also seems to keep very low profile, they have napped everyone and I presume are mainly holding hands inside their Battle Keep.
Now how gay is that? Answer: Super Gay and Gosh! Ever so jolly!

Acolytes of the Shadows seem to have stabilized, and are now recruiting newbie players (every old players know that they are quite remarkably retarted assholes, the whole bunch of them).

Legio VI Victrix has been dragged to their first war by Band of the Gray EpicFaile.. uhm.. Clovers. I got confirmation from both sides, and it seems someone managed to pissoff someone and something happened, leading to hostile activity and butt-raping in Kheshatta. Really fucking originell, really, but funny to watch.

Cavalieri Del Destino was seen some days ago waring against the Empire (I think it was Argonauts). I should have reported this when it happened and I remembered it well, but I didn't feel like making an originell posting for such a "trivial" matter. I still expect a confirmation from someone; is cavalieri warring against Empire, or wassit something random that happens in Kheshatta everyday?

Informer stays alert, and watches over Hyborian nights.

Holiday In Kheshatta

Good day, this is the Informer.

Today I took a brake, a holiday of sorts. I wanted to feel the warmth of the sun agains by butt-cheaks, sand between my toes and wind in my hair. So I went to Kheshatta, the sunny pearl of south.

After zoning, I got butt-raped. After ressing I got ear-fucked. After hiding I was mentaly molessed by /tells and, the grand final, after un-hiding I was be-headed with a comet pulled down from it's orbit by an evil sorcerer.

Then I took my iGankPhone, and called to my GM; "Please, send help a.s.a.p. code red, code red, Kheshattaaaaah!!". After five hours of Zerging the brain out of everything moving, I was 9 pvp-xp richer and my K/D ratio had gained 50092356687 kills.

I am now officially the toughest guy ever!

Informer recommends everyone to not take Holidays in Kheshatta.

Exalted; too drunk to fuck?

Good day, this is the Informer.

I had a word today with several very dissapointed Exalted members. I was trying to ask around, how their fight agains McHuns went, and were they able to conquer the Kebab-Fortress. No, they weren't, they failed miserably. Everything that could have went wrong, went wrong, but the most shocking news were as follows.

Looking at the answers of those Exalted members I got to interview, and the manner they were muttering their responses, I've come to the conclusion that Exalted were too drunk to fu... fight. Something I had thought possible to happen, afterall sunday is a prominent drinking night for Exalted and their alcoholic allies.

I was able to get verification, after bribing one of their senior officers. He told me the whole story for a six-pack of beer; how they were pissed beyond repair as early as two hours before the raid. They also lost one third of their raid for a wild hippie party just before the match, and the rest... well, here is a video from the fight: Video.

You can clearly see, that the whole raid is rather "dancing" by jumping up and down, and the Kebab-Enemy is nowhere to be seen. They are actually fighting eachother, pissdrunk, even too drunk to fuck.

Kebab-people 1 - 0 Exalted.